I've read* 23 books so far this year and 6 of them have landed a spot on the favorites list. Or, as I call it, the Ace List. This is a pretty big percentage (26%) and maybe that's because I'm easy to please, or because I have a good idea of what books I'll like before reading them, or maybe this has just been a really good six weeks.
In any case, upon finishing each of these novels, from Anna and the French Kiss to Gayle Forman's upcoming Where She Went, I didn't feel content with just letting it be. I wanted, like I always do, to talk about the books. To recommend them to others and discuss how absolutely great they are.
And I haven't done that. I mean, I kind of have, but it's been haphazard and half-hearted since leaving Ten Cent Notes because I just don't know how to go about things anymore. Writing reviews, recommendations, even blog posts about book-related things, seems a bit daunting. And I know I'm over thinking things the way I always do, but I almost can't stop myself. I don't want to insult people, I don't want to be unprofessional, I don't want to screw things up for myself. I don't want to mess up and the truly scary thing is that I'm not even sure where the line is... what's the difference between a nicely-stated viewpoint and insulting another person? Sometimes the difference between the two is just so thin.
The truth, blog-friends, is that I miss book blogging. Not just reviewing, but all of it. I miss sharing my thoughts on books, miss taking about YA-related issues, miss the discussion posts and opinions and the community that went along with it. What I miss most of all though, is just talking about books. Sharing the books I love and telling you why I love them and convincing others that, yes, they really are that good. I miss being a book person, and having a bigger role in the complex mechanism of publishing and books than a reader normally has.
I feel like I'm cheating on my writing-self by having a blog about reading. Maybe I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. I heard so many times that you must choose between being a (public) reader and being a writer, that once you choose to pursue publication you give up the right to share opinions freely the way a non-writing reader might -- I've heard these things and listened to them and let that choice work its way into my brain. And I hate it for more than one reason, but mostly because blogging and reviewing was something I loved. It made me happy. I'm willing to give it up in order to be a writer; I haven't blogged in the past few days because, honestly, maybe I am giving it up. Completely. Or at least, that's what I thought. It's really difficult to make a firm decision when there really are no hard and fast rules, when you're choosing between two things that you feel shouldn't even be a choice.
Should I stop the critical/negative reviews and only feature books I love, ones I can fully recommend? Yeah, okay, yes. I get that, I get it 100%. But what about the rest of it? Talking about different issues in books, discussions and opinions and lists of favorites? Should I stop those too? At the risk of offending someone whose book I don't love quite as much, should I stop everything, put the kibosh on discussing my reading and books online, in public? I don't know. That is the hardest decision, especially for me: someone who values honesty and respect and love and kindness over so much else. Someone who tries so hard to be nice and supportive and, in a word, good.
I wish this post had a nice, tidy conclusion, but it doesn't. Partly because things rarely are that nice and tidy and partly because I'm too hungry to think of the appropriate ending unless that ending involves bread or soup.
*or started to read at least, since I haven't finished one of them.
I know an author who reviewed books, positively and negatively--always honestly--from long before she was published to long after. She quit eventually, but not for any of the reasons you're worried about, just because she wasn't reading as much. Here's her blog, if you want to get a look at her archives/reviews or even email her and ask her your questions; she's a lovely person and I'm sure would talk to you about it: http://sarahmillerbooks.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteWell, the thing is, if you're going to be a published writer you can't worry about offending people or you won't write anything worth reading. So you may as well practice here. I think as long as you aren't saying "this book is trash how did it get published", you're probably good.
ReplyDeletePlus Lenore of Presenting Lenore just got an agent and she writes honest reviews :)
Hope you had some bread and soup!
You and I seem to have this issue on our mind a lot lately! BTW - I chose you to get a Stylish Blogger Award! :) Link!
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