The 50 Page Rule

Because there are so many amazing books out there, it's been a rule of mine for quite a while that I only have to read the first fifty pages of any book I start. If, at or after that 50 page mark, the book still hasn't hooked me, or I don't like it for some reason, I have full permission from myself to put it down and move on.

Guilt-free.

Lately though, I've been rethinking this. Not so much because I feel bad about not finishing books (though there is that, especially with ARCs), but because I've recently read a few books that weren't that interesting at the 50 page mark. It wasn't until page 60, or 70, or even 90, that I really felt myself become invested in the book. Some of these books, one in particular, are ones that I happily finished and really, really enjoyed.

So now I'm thinking about turning page 50 into page 75. Or 100. On the one hand there are those books that pick up after page 50, the ones that I'd be missing out on if I put down so early, but then on the other hand... most books that I'm not interested in at page 50 are ones I still won't like at page 100.

I don't know. I'M STUCK IN A QUAARRRY*. What do you suggest -- is 50 pages fair or too short? Do you have a similar rule when reading or are you one of those readers who finishes every single book? 


*"Parties are like frisbees. If you throw them the wrong way, they'll veer off in a bad direction and then your kid will fall into a quarry. Don't throw a party for vengeance. It will turn on you. Like your wife, after your kid has fallen into a quarry." (Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock) QUICK, TO THE BATMOBILE!!!

more of the same

I've read* 23 books so far this year and 6 of them have landed a spot on the favorites list. Or, as I call it, the Ace List. This is a pretty big percentage (26%) and maybe that's because I'm easy to please, or because I have a good idea of what books I'll like before reading them, or maybe this has just been a really good six weeks.

In any case, upon finishing each of these novels, from Anna and the French Kiss to Gayle Forman's upcoming Where She Went, I didn't feel content with just letting it be. I wanted, like I always do, to talk about the books. To recommend them to others and discuss how absolutely great they are.

And I haven't done that. I mean, I kind of have, but it's been haphazard and half-hearted since leaving Ten Cent Notes because I just don't know how to go about things anymore. Writing reviews, recommendations, even blog posts about book-related things, seems a bit daunting. And I know I'm over thinking things the way I always do, but I almost can't stop myself. I don't want to insult people, I don't want to be unprofessional, I don't want to screw things up for myself. I don't want to mess up and the truly scary thing is that I'm not even sure where the line is... what's the difference between a nicely-stated viewpoint and insulting another person? Sometimes the difference between the two is just so thin.

The truth, blog-friends, is that I miss book blogging. Not just reviewing, but all of it. I miss sharing my thoughts on books, miss taking about YA-related issues, miss the discussion posts and opinions and the community that went along with it. What I miss most of all though, is just talking about books. Sharing the books I love and telling you why I love them and convincing others that, yes, they really are that good. I miss being a book person, and having a bigger role in the complex mechanism of publishing and books than a reader normally has.

I feel like I'm cheating on my writing-self by having a blog about reading. Maybe I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. I heard so many times that you must choose between being a (public) reader and being a writer, that once you choose to pursue publication you give up the right to share opinions freely the way a non-writing reader might -- I've heard these things and listened to them and let that choice work its way into my brain. And I hate it for more than one reason, but mostly because blogging and reviewing was something I loved. It made me happy. I'm willing to give it up in order to be a writer; I haven't blogged in the past few days because, honestly, maybe I am giving it up. Completely. Or at least, that's what I thought. It's really difficult to make a firm decision when there really are no hard and fast rules, when you're choosing between two things that you feel shouldn't even be a choice.

Should I stop the critical/negative reviews and only feature books I love, ones I can fully recommend? Yeah, okay, yes. I get that, I get it 100%. But what about the rest of it? Talking about different issues in books, discussions and opinions and lists of favorites? Should I stop those too? At the risk of offending someone whose book I don't love quite as much, should I stop everything, put the kibosh on discussing my reading and books online, in public? I don't know. That is the hardest decision, especially for me: someone who values honesty and respect and love and kindness over so much else. Someone who tries so hard to be nice and supportive and, in a word, good.

I wish this post had a nice, tidy conclusion, but it doesn't. Partly because things rarely are that nice and tidy and partly because I'm too hungry to think of the appropriate ending unless that ending involves bread or soup.

*or started to read at least, since I haven't finished one of them.

a memory of stupidity, or something

So, true story, in tenth grade I got a C on a math test. But wait wait, there's more! That's not even the good part yet!

I got a C on this math test and I was super-bummed because I literally did not understand anything we were doing and my teacher was super-unhelpful, and the guy sitting next to me looked over at my grade and said, "Wow, you're, like, one of those people who looks really smart but is actually dumb."

BLOG, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?

If you thought: "there is no answer" than you are correct. I sat there sort of duh-wee because seriously wth?

But he was right. I do look smart. I have that not-too-ugly-not-too-pretty, brunette, quiet, studious look about me. Like I'm thinking really big thoughts when most of the time I'm really thinking about something ridiculous, like robots falling in love or what would happen if I rammed the grocery cart into the back wall of the grocery store, where all the wine is, and how much wine would break and spill all over the place and could it possibly flood the aisle a little bit?

Those are actually things I think about. Often. 


What strange things do you think about, blog? And also: do you look smarter than you are? Or are you smarter than you look?

ennui is a really fun word, but also weird

In case you haven't noticed, and you obviously have, I don't quite know what I'm doing yet. I haven't quite figured out the rules of this blog - what I will talk about, what I won't, what the focus is. I'd love for this to be a blog that is, still, focused on books and YA lit, but I know the problems I ran into last time and I'm wary of posting anything that could cause problems. I still don't know where the line is.

And I know that if this is going to become just another book blog, then what was the point of me giving up Ten Cent Notes (where I had a solid readership and had put years of effort into the blog) in the first place? I have to remind myself constantly that I started this new blog for a reason, a clean start, a fresh perspective. However, as much as I'd love to look at things from the writer's POV... nobody wants to hear that. Or if that's not true here's what is:

I don't feel comfortable having a writing blog, because I am not a writer except in the loosest definition of the word. I'm not okay with giving you writing advice because, really, why should you listen to me? Talking from the perspective of a writer often means talking about writing, and while I love talking writing with friends and family (because my mother is obligated to listen to my writing-related rants), I'm less enthusiastic about blogging about it because I'm pretty sure it's only interesting to me.

So, uh, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing. I'm thinking about blogging about TELEVISION TELEVISION TELEVISION because I love television, but even that's something that I feel like would only interest me. And I do feel like, honestly, that small foothold I had into the world of YA lit has dissipated now that I'm not running a book blog and only occasionally talking about books on the blog. That really sucks, because I love YA and I love talking to other bloggers and being part of that community and feeling like I have a reason to talk to authors, like I'm not breaking some invisible wall between me and them. (True, this wall may only be in my mind, but it's still there.) I miss that and I'm not yet used to not talking books every day and sharing my opinions with people and writing book discussion posts about things that are bugging me or things I wish would change.

I'm sure it's just the fact that starting a new blog and quitting another puts you in an in-between, transition-y stage, and it hasn't been that long, really, but right now I do feel like books are the only interesting thing I have to talk about and omg omg what am I doing?


That's the question I'm trying to answer. So things are still going to be a bit rough around here for a few weeks while I figure it out.
But I don't know.
I'll figure it out eventually. Hopefully soon. The unending ennui is killing me slowly.

a disclaimer of sorts

When I ran a book review blog one of the big reasons I didn't only review books I liked was because I wanted people to trust me. I didn't want to be fangirling all over books that didn't deserve it -- and I wanted to present a balanced view of even those books where all I really wanted to do was shout YES, THIS! THIS IS GOOD! BUY THIS! READ THIS!

I miss that. I miss the detailed, super-balanced reviews.
I miss it because I know, I know, the books I love aren't going to be the ones you love. Just because I think a book is super-fantastic-wonderful doesn't mean you will and there is a part of me that feels bad about essentially only presenting half of the story when it comes to books. Every book I feature on this blog will be one I love. One that I can wholeheartedly recommend, one that's good enough to reread, one that belongs on my Goodreads favorites shelf.

Now, when I tell you about a book, it's because I honestly love that book. It's worth reading. My recommendations will probably never be as in-depth as my reviews were, but they will still - of course - be honest. I'm telling you this because a lot of times when I see blogs where every review is glowing and they never mention the negatives of a book (because, let's face it, most books aren't perfect), I lose a little bit of trust in that reviewer.

But I'm not a reviewer anymore.
And I love the books that will be featured here.
And I hope you will too.